Professional Pub Crawl Guide Regime

​Like any great athlete or artist, as a Literary Pub Crawl Guide there is a lot of prep, practice and training to get yourself into the ideal shape to lead a crowd of history buffs, literary lovers, and cultural explorers who like to enjoy a well-crafted beverage.
 
Every guide has their own routine, but here’s what I have perfected as the perfect Literary Pub Crawl Guide Experience

​Night Before:
 

• Find all the materials, scripts, poems, sign in sheets, etc, put them all in one place.
• Drink a couple bourbons with a lot of seltzer on the side.
• Stick with only a couple, promise to go to bed at a reasonable hour but instead drink a 3rd bourbon while staying up way to late surfing the web on literary facts and stories.

Morning of:
 

• Brew a large pot of coffee. Make it 1/3 decaf to avoid the shakes, but still with plenty of caffeine.
• Rush about finding some books that correlate with the late night research. Skim some new stories by the writers to find appropriate sections
• Review favorite poems and quotes I’ll be reciting.
• Check the reservations to see if there is anyone with a key author they are interested in and do last minute panicked research on that writer. Too late to memorize a new poem? Try anyway

First Bar:

• Arrive 30 – 45 minutes early for time to review script again
• Order a grilled cheese, or a cheese quesadilla.- Something with lots of bread and cheese because it’s both filling and soaks up alcohol. Avoid meats because they get to heavy, and too many vegetables will run through you and you’ll be hungry and more tipsy later.
• Order a Guinness: Filling, flavorful, not to high alcohol content

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​Second Bar:

• A good Ale or IPA works here. Something somewhat light and colorful, with medium alcohol content.
• See if they have something local as well. It’s a great way to get in touch with the community and channel that local history. If the alcohol content is high enough you might actually believe that.

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Third Bar:
 

• You’ve made it! Congrats. You’ve earned yourself a nice bourbon: again preferably neat with a large glass of seltzer on the side. – If it’s mixed you are likely to drink it too quickly, and there’s probably not enough water or mixer in it. Keep them separate and get the small sips, with large gulps of refreshing water right on its tale. I prefer the bubbly water because bubbles are fun.

Warning:
 

• If it’s a great fun group, it’s very easy to be tempted into a 4th drink. Be wary here, you may end up suddenly bar hopping with a bachelor party with a groom who’s getting angry/jealous drunk at you, or playing vigorous rounds of drunken UNO with Australians. Or even stranger things may happen. That 4th drink is at your own risk.

​Remember, your guides are trained professional drinkers and talkers. They’ve sculpted their own multi course experience, but as an attendee you need to trust your own judgement.
 
Guides have been known to get smarter, sexier and more charming the more you drink, this could be both amazing and dangerous. Use caution.